I saw this on a fellow blogger's website, plus I have read this numerous times via email-fwds. Still I thought I will post it as well and maybe look back on it from time to time. :-)
Here are the Dilbertisms:
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
Wish we can at times live like this, not caring about what other people think and just live for ourselves. No need to please anyone.
2. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
Ah this one is very good, there is nothing as an absolute need. Things can be replaced so learn to live with the adjustments in life.
3. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Think of this for a minute. The person next to your cubicle, dont you think he/she also has ideas on why you just sit there and not talk to them....weirdo.
4. Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
5. A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt.
HAHA now this is something that many top managers do best. Just do your job with the utmost pride and dont worry about the pat on the backs...who knows the manager might miss and just kick the butt.
6. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
Don’t think that just because you are patient and able to handle it, it is not affecting you. It is affecting you!!…All the crap that you deal with day in and day out, put a stop to it. Let people know that it is not tolerable.
7. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
Hmmm…ok I have done this, it works :-). However do try to know what you are doing. It helps to get yourself some time by walking fast and looking worried, but use that time to read/learn up on things.
8. Following the rules will not get the job done.
As another saying goes… “Rules are meant to be broken” take heed of it and do what you must to get the job done.
9. There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
This is a funny one but how many of us feel that it describes them. Working in a pressure filled situation will bring out the best in us as well as the worst. Try to balance it, it is indeed a fine line.
10. Life is a waste of time; time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
Life is not all about work work work, try to have fun as well. Remember all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.